The Nine Lives of Mario Lopez
The Chaser’s first hot-on for Mario was in 1998, when he appeared on a cable tv show about California cops on bikes.
Sure, the show was stupid, but The Chaser was fourteen at the time, and had a liking for the hot and spicy back then.
“To Christopher Nolan, with love, signed Katie Holmes”
I give you the transcribed words of Mrs. Cruise
Jessica Alba is The Prophet of Our Times
…she said the words…that I’ll never forget
Gary Coleman’s INSIDERage
They bitch-slapped you, dude.
Lara Spencer and her crew of played out, permed up, tacky asses shamed you on national television…
…and you let them do it.
Kirstie Alley’s BIG LIFE Needs Liposuction
The Chaser chose to watch KA’s Big Life…and wondered whether to laugh, cry from laughter, or vomit from drunken laughter.
Who Are You Calling “Unprofessional”?
A five-hundred pound gorilla entered the room when someone ended their story with the line “Our people don’t know how to do business.”
Return to AVATAR’s Pandora, and The Absent Black Experience in Science Fiction Cinema
In my last blog, James Cameron’s Avatar was the gateway to a larger subject.
Turns out it was also a firestarter of sorts.
EXPO Webcomic #23 – “I’m Lovin’ It!”
We Interrupt This Blog to Pay Tribute to Corey Haim
Fate’s a cruel bitch, because it claimed another victim.
Corey Haim was, quite simply, an older man with balls.
Hollywood’s Book Grinder, with an ending for James Cameron
I’m worried about you.
You know why? Because a lot of you think that AVATAR should have won the Oscar for Best Screenplay.
EXPO Webcomic #21 – Reality Check
EXPO Webcomic #20 – The DJFK Mixtape Interview: Part Three
What grade level R U writing @?
One of the things Americans have accomplished
thus far in the twenty-first century
is identifying their capacity for mental laziness.
EXPO Webcomic #16 – The DJFK Mixtape Interview: Part Two
EXPO Webcomic #14 – Do Not Pass GO, Do Not Collect $200
Black History (is more than a) Month
My mother’s name was SHONDRA PARKS. I call her Professor Mom.
She was born in the city of Philadelphia…
…and I was the pride, joy, and holy terror of her life.
EXPO Webcomic #11 – The DJFK Mixtape Interview: Part One
Poles and Holes
I used to want to sleep with Tiger Woods. Why the hell not? He met all of The Chaser’s criteria. Exceptional skill, money, golden skin, abs, aim, drive…love how those Nike shirts just accentuated his form. Married? No problem. All men cheat, so I could live with that. Mistress? No problem. All men cheat, so [...]
WHY I DON’T HAVE A TWITTER ACCOUNT
Many of you have asked for my Twitter address so you can connect up, and while I appreciate the fact that you want to reach out, the simple fact of the matter is… I don’t have time to “tweet”. Yes, you read right. “It only takes 140 characters of your time, girl.” That’s what my [...]
EXPO Webcomic #05 – A Slippery Slope
EXPO Webcomic #03 – Agree to Disagree
The Chaser Tells You “Why We Do It”
Dirt is the best thing in the world. Stories grow from it every day.
Those of you who know me from the way back remember when I was The Controlista and dropped the bombshell on how everyone’s favorite DJ Mister Flo Killa was churning out those overpriced clothes you like to wear on the backs of Chinese immigrants working in sweatshops for ten dollars a week.
The Facts
You know what I hate? Submissions.
Every day I open my e-mail and I’ll find at least twenty messages from people wanting to write for EXPO.
Now I don’t have a problem looking at writing samples, because there are a lot of good writers out there. A lot of them got fired from newspapers and magazines…
