I don’t find a lot of things funny these days.
Perhaps I’m just getting old or maybe today’s comedy is a bit too low brow for me.
However, when I read a letter that our top Hip Hop journalist Manny Caballaro mailed to my good buddy and legendary rapper KRS-One, I cracked up.
And it went a little something like this…
“To the attention of L. Parker aka KRS-One:
Please find the enclosed twenty dollars to help you start a consulting business that will instruct up and coming rappers on how to rock a mic and perform on stage.
We the public are sick and tired of watching lame ass televised award show rapper “performances” and we are tired of paying good money to watch lazy rappers simply ramble back and forth on stage at a concert. Plus, we hate that horribly annoying, no talent hype man who repeats every other word that the star says. Finally, please, please, please stop these “artists” from inviting all fifty of their hood rat homeboys to come on stage and do nothing but ice grill, bob their heads, look up at the cheap seats and then look down at their shoes.
Mr. KRS-One please school these fools.
It all sucks.
Mucho thanks in advance,
Representing pissed off rap fans from across the country
P.S. Rappers shouldn’t be fooled by screaming fans at their shows overseas.
Foreigners don’t know any better.
P.P.S. Should you choose not to pursue this endeavor please return the twenty dollars to:
Funny or not, Manny does have a point.
Today’s rappers seem to have zero idea of how to command a stage.
It’s as if they’re just happy to be ON stage and mistakenly believe that the magic will happen all by itself.
I recently attended the New York premiere of the Michael Jackson documentary, “This Is It”. What really impressed me was how serious this man took his craft. To Michael, performing on stage was an art form but more importantly, he treated it like a business. Compare that to any rapper you see on stage today. Most of them appear so scared to be on stage all by themselves that they bring on that “annoying no talent hype man” as Manny referred to him, to keep them company.
When in creative doubt, a performer can always fall back on a fly set of back up dancers but I guess in these tough economics times, rappers aren’t wasting dough on such an unnecessary visual expense. Nowadays, a rapper’s biggest stage prop is his sunglasses which unfortunately keep artists from truly connecting with their audience. This is something LL Cool J schooled me on years back when I had a career in music. Is it a coincidence that some of the greatest entertainers of all time like Sinatra, the Beatles, Streisand, Elvis, Michael Jackson, and Prince did or do NOT wear sunglasses??
Oh and I don’t consider stripping down and showing your abs with your drawers hanging out on stage performing either.
I remember being on the bill with KRS-One at a summer jam in Central Park, Manhattan. I followed him on stage after he tore up it and I wasn’t prepared. I figured, “Hey, the public likes my single so they’re going to love me in person!”
I damn near got booed off the stage! Empty Snapple bottles and Now and Later candies filled the air.
Luckily, KRS was a class act, came back on stage and together we brought down the house.
He saved my ass.
That night I treated KRS to dinner at Negril’s in Chelsea. We had a great time talking about the music industry and he really schooled me on the “art of performing”.
Manny is right. These rappers today need you, KRS-One.
My check is in the mail.